Thoughts on Feminism

From basic rights to rape culture to LGBTQIA issues to patriarchy, we discuss it all.

mediamattersforamerica:

"Let men be men": Fox hosts eagerly agreed with the NY Post article that claimed “catcalls are flattering.” 

A few more gems from this segment

  • "They mean it in a nice way."
  • "It’s nice to get compliments."
  • "As long as you don’t come within arms length, it’s fine."

But for many women, catcalls are humiliating and degrading. Some blame themselves, wondering what they could have done differently to prevent it. And the consequences can considerably affect a person’s social behavior and habits, as women report they avoid eye contact and walking alone in public, or change their outfits or routes to avoid harassment.”  

In reality, this is no small problem. According to Stop Street Harassment, “at least 65% of women have experienced catcalls, leers, and unwanted sexual propositions,” disproportionately affecting those with low incomes, women of color, and the LGBTQ community. And while there are federal laws protecting women from workplace harassment, street harassment is addressed on a state-by-state basis.

Let’s bring some voices of reason into this discussion:

Natalie DiBlasio, USA TODAY:

Catcalling does not mean you are beautiful, smart, strong or interesting. Catcalling means a stranger values you so little he doesn’t care if he makes you feel uncomfortable or threatened.

Margaret Eby, Brooklyn Magazine:

Catcalling is about control, not about your cute shorts. It’s an assertion that women are just visitors in a male space, there to be assessed by appearance and summarily dismissed or flirted with.

Ashley Ross, TIME:

To legitimize catcalling is to give voice to those who don’t deserve it: the man who told me he wanted to perform oral sex on me, the man who said he wanted it the other way around and the man who said he could have me if he wanted me.

The dehumanizing culture of catcalling must stop, but conservative media outlets like Fox aren’t helping. It’s up to us all to educate ourselves about the harms of harassment, so that women can truly be free in the streets of America.

(via wilwheaton)

  • Early Feminists: Oh hey, we see that you can vote. We would like to vote also. I mean, since most of those laws effect us too and all.
  • Men: YOU JUST WANT SUPERIORITY OVER MEN!
  • Mid-century Feminists: Hey, that whole thing about how you can have careers and earn a living wage outside the home? Yes that sounds nice, we'd like the option to do that as well.
  • Men: YOU WANT A MATRIARCHY, THAT'S WHAT YOU WANT!
  • Late 20th century Feminists: Hey we would like to make our own choices about our reproductive health, just like you've always had.
  • Men: YOU ARE TRYING TO TAKE MEN'S RIGHTS AWAY!
  • Modern-day feminists: Hey, if you could you stop sexually assaulting/harassing us and them blaming us for it, that'd be pretty great.
  • Men: THIS IS MISANDRY, MISANDRY I SAY! FEMINISTS HAVE GONE TOO FAR!
  • Feminists: Um...
  • Men: THE END OF MEN IS NIGH! MALE OPPRESSION IS REAL! THE MATRIARCHAL AGE IS UPON US!

Undercover Colors and The Pushback

Undercover colors is a group that is coming out with a nail polish that would be able to detect date rape drugs in a drink in a matter of seconds after a woman or man stirs it with their finger. I add man because I think in all of this it has been neglected that (A) Men get date raped too, (B) Men can wear nail polish.  Anyway, it is another weapon in the anti-rape arsenal.

Our lovely Anna, posted about it and I looked it up because I hadn’t heard much about it before the post. It seems like an amazing idea and I know I’m all for it but it surprised me to see the number of advocacy groups against it so I went on to read their points as well. I was brought face to face with what has always bothered me about victim advocacy groups (aside from that title, we are survivors).

This quote, borrowed from The Salt Lake City Tribune kind of hit a raw nerve with me.

"Whilst Undercover Color’s initiative is well meaning, on the whole," she said, "Rape Crisis does not endorse or promote such a product or anything similar. This is for three reasons: It implies that it’s the woman’s fault and assumes responsibility on her behalf, and detracts from the real issues that arise from sexual violence.

"For us, we work with victims to make them realize that they did nothing wrong," she added. "Among primary cases, some do ask if they could have done anything to stop it. Products like this suggest otherwise. The emphasis must be placed 100 percent on the perpetrator."

While I agree wholeheartedly that the person who was raped is never to blame for the act, I think it’s irresponsible on the part of these advocacy groups to turn their noses up at things that can be preventative. I do think there is a problem with victim blaming, I have seen it firsthand, but I think that is something we must stand together to change.

I think that things like this, need to be widespread. I think all bars should have the coasters that work to the same effect. To me, it’s much like taking Airborne before a flight or being the person who carries around band-aids. It is another way to be prepared for the world that we now live in. If people carry around rape whistles and pepper spray, why can’t this be looked at it in the same way?

~Victoria~

"But women get unfair advantages in custody battles"

handaxe:

FALSE. Fathers who ask for sole custody are far more likely to get it. It’s just that they don’t ask, mostly women do. Men win custody over women even if they are ostensibly unfit. More and more, judges and parents rule in favor of 50/50 custody. In fact, in the past ten years, the men’s rights movement has been devastating to women seeking custody in court and women are awarded sole custody about half as many times as men.  

So find a new fucking myth. 

(via southern-feminism)

nowyoukno:

Source for more facts follow NowYouKno

Four college MEN did this. I love seeing men taking initiative to try to help keep women safe from rapists. Honorable men like this is what keeps my faith in humanity intact.
~Anna

nowyoukno:

Source for more facts follow NowYouKno

Four college MEN did this. I love seeing men taking initiative to try to help keep women safe from rapists. Honorable men like this is what keeps my faith in humanity intact.

~Anna

(via thranduil-the-elven-king)

kkristoff:

callingoutbadfeminism:

vegetableighs:

darebearlee:

josiephone:

josiephone:

Okay guys, I’m going to get serious for a minute. If you’re not in Ireland at the moment, you may not know about the situation regarding the laws on abortion. It is completely illegal, even in cases of rape, incest, fatal foetal abnormality, and other such things. Women have died in this country because inability to have an abortion put strain on their health. A woman who wasn’t even Irish begged for an abortion because her child was about to die in the womb. The complications arising from her case resulted in her contracting septicaemia, organ failure, and tragically dying. In 1992, the X Case took place, involving a 14-year-old girl, knowns only as x, who became pregnant after being raped. Instead of offering help to the girl, who because suicidal, they prevented her from travelling out of the country for an abortion.Any Irish woman* who needs an abortion has to travel to the UK, which means if you don’t have the money, you’re out of luck. What does the Irish Government have to say about this?Well, recently the UN confronted the Government about our abortion laws, pointing out that we were breaking Human Rights laws, and that the Government treated Irish women* like vessels.Joan Burton, the Tánaiste, said that there will be no referendum on abortion in this Government’s lifetime. They’re literally saying that they don’t care enough to rectify Human Rights breaches.I am NOT a vessel, and neither are you. Make your voice heard. Come to the March for Choice on the 27th of September in Dublin. Never give up, never stay quiet.

This has only been up since last night and LADS, the NOTES. Keep spreading the word!

I am Canadian, and I’m sorry to say until I read this I didn’t know anything about what you women were going through.This is completely disgusting, I can’t even believe what you’re going through.And I wish I could come out there and march with you.But I don’t have the money so I can’t.But I’m going to keep reblogging this, and sharing it. And I hope all my followers will too.This is important people, no matter what gender you are or what country you’re in, everyone deserves their basic human rights, and we need to stand together until this becomes a reality.So please spread the word for these women.

Be lucky you’re in Ireland though, the situation is 10X worse the the “progressive” United States. Just look at places like Texas or Ohio. It’s fucking inhumane here.

Okay Leigh, I don’t think you understand what the words “outright ban” mean.
Ireland has an outright ban on abortion.  That means that under ZERO circumstances can a person who is pregnant obtain an abortion for ANY reason.
The state of Texas does NOT have an outright ban on abortion.  Yes, you have to jump through legal hoops and consent to various invasive procedures, and it is very expensive to do so, but it is technically possible.
- Number 1

did u srsly just pull a “imma let u finish but the usa has it SO much worse” shut the hell up

kkristoff:

callingoutbadfeminism:

vegetableighs:

darebearlee:

josiephone:

josiephone:

Okay guys, I’m going to get serious for a minute. 
If you’re not in Ireland at the moment, you may not know about the situation regarding the laws on abortion. It is completely illegal, even in cases of rape, incest, fatal foetal abnormality, and other such things. 

Women have died in this country because inability to have an abortion put strain on their health. A woman who wasn’t even Irish begged for an abortion because her child was about to die in the womb. The complications arising from her case resulted in her contracting septicaemia, organ failure, and tragically dying. 
In 1992, the X Case took place, involving a 14-year-old girl, knowns only as x, who became pregnant after being raped. Instead of offering help to the girl, who because suicidal, they prevented her from travelling out of the country for an abortion.

Any Irish woman* who needs an abortion has to travel to the UK, which means if you don’t have the money, you’re out of luck. What does the Irish Government have to say about this?

Well, recently the UN confronted the Government about our abortion laws, pointing out that we were breaking Human Rights laws, and that the Government treated Irish women* like vessels.

Joan Burton, the Tánaiste, said that there will be no referendum on abortion in this Government’s lifetime. They’re literally saying that they don’t care enough to rectify Human Rights breaches.

I am NOT a vessel, and neither are you. Make your voice heard. Come to the March for Choice on the 27th of September in Dublin. 

Never give up, never stay quiet.

This has only been up since last night and LADS, the NOTES. Keep spreading the word!

I am Canadian, and I’m sorry to say until I read this I didn’t know anything about what you women were going through.
This is completely disgusting, I can’t even believe what you’re going through.
And I wish I could come out there and march with you.
But I don’t have the money so I can’t.
But I’m going to keep reblogging this, and sharing it.
And I hope all my followers will too.
This is important people, no matter what gender you are or what country you’re in, everyone deserves their basic human rights, and we need to stand together until this becomes a reality.
So please spread the word for these women.

Be lucky you’re in Ireland though, the situation is 10X worse the the “progressive” United States. Just look at places like Texas or Ohio. It’s fucking inhumane here.

Okay Leigh, I don’t think you understand what the words “outright ban” mean.

Ireland has an outright ban on abortion.  That means that under ZERO circumstances can a person who is pregnant obtain an abortion for ANY reason.

The state of Texas does NOT have an outright ban on abortion.  Yes, you have to jump through legal hoops and consent to various invasive procedures, and it is very expensive to do so, but it is technically possible.

- Number 1

did u srsly just pull a “imma let u finish but the usa has it SO much worse” shut the hell up

(via assbutt-in-the-garrison)

Hi everyone!

I know I’ve been absent this past month, but I’m back now. I’ve finally hit a stride in getting my life together. I’ve started my new job and I’m starting to feel comfortable with my surroundings. I’d like to thank my fellow admins, Tom and Victoria, for keeping the posts going and keeping you all interested in Modern Wave Feminism. That being said, I’d like to share some of my experiences with you all.

I recently moved across the country from the Philadelphia area to Los Angeles. I was warned beforehand - by people who had lived here previously - that I would have a bit of a culture shock and, oh, I have. People out here seem to think differently, act differently.

Philadelphia is a more traditional place. I never thought I’d say it, but, after seeing something so drastically different, I believe it thoroughly. Philadelphia is an old city with roots in the Quaker and Amish faiths. People are more modest about things like sex and attraction. In my experience, things such as dating and sex are kept fairly quiet. People don’t flirt with you when you’re walking down the street. Or, at least, nobody flirted with me.

LA is different. Sex is everywhere here. My theory is that it’s the heat, it makes everyone crave a physical closeness. It’s affecting the way people act. In LA, guys seem to be hitting on me constantly. I have unwanted advances on all sides. Customers and fellow employees flirt with me at work. Guys flirt with me when I’m on the train, walking down the street or just getting something to eat. It’s extremely uncomfortable for me, being sexualized like that.

These situations make me uncomfortable. I’m not the type of woman who’s comfortable or confident in her sexuality. I admire women that are, but I’ve never been able to get to that point. The problem that I’m facing here is that people don’t seem to understand why these situations are making me uncomfortable. I keep getting comments like, “That happens all the time here!” or “Welcome to LA!” They’re telling me that I should just get used to it.

I don’t want to get used to it. I don’t want to hear that I should be flattered that men are paying attention to me. I don’t want this to be “how things are.” I want to be left alone. I want things to move at my own pace. I want to make the choice to feel comfortable in situations that I can control.

I know I’m not the only woman who feels this way. Maybe I just prefer a more modest approach to sex, but I don’t want to just give in to the abundance of sex in LA. I don’t want to be sexualized by the men around me. I want to be seen as a human being first and foremost, not a sex object. I can’t say that I wasn’t sexualized on the east coast, but at least people weren’t upfront about it. People kept it to themselves and I was perfectly fine with that.

Sigh… End Rant.

~Anna